The Importance of Reconnecting with your spouse: we at the beach
Alright! Let’s get to it! Reconnecting with your spouse...What exactly does that mean? Is it really that important in a marriage? Does it make a difference?
The answer is yes, yes, and yes again. Marriage is a beautiful thing; it is the love between two people who have now decided to become one. Remember that two people with different personalities and two different ways of getting things done are becoming one. It is possible at some point in your marriage to feel disconnected and not as in touch with your emotional side.
What can cause such disconnect? Well…
Break in trust
Lack of Communication
Growth (if not discussed)
Different expectations for one another
Deployments
What do you do when you feel such disconnect?
If you and your spouse have built a strong foundation then, I encourage you to work it out! Figure out where the change happened and discuss ways in which you can both communicate and work it out.
For myself, my spouse and I had to work on building trust again and relearning each other after a deployment. Building trust was the absolute hardest thing I ever had to do. After giving everything, I absolutely had into one person and placing them in such a bubble and then having all that pop in an instant is devastating. The rebuild took time (years), patience, and a willingness to fight like no other.
Here I am!
The deployment, on the other hand, had its negative and positive sides to it. A part of me needed that time apart to heal and to realize who I was and what I wanted, not only in our marriage but in my life. I needed to discover who I was. You see, I used to think my peace and happiness were all in my spouse's hands. I realized that those are two delicate pieces in my life that I have given to someone else to protect. My happiness and my peace belong to me. It was and is my responsibility to take care of my happiness and protect my peace and that is exactly what I did.
I have changed in significant ways and so has he. Now we are just learning to embrace our necessary changes and accepting our growth. Realizing what ways we can work together and continue to flourish as one.
We recently decided to take a trip away from the chaos and enjoy some us time. Where we could just hear ourselves think and not have 3 children calling our names.
During our trip we made sure to do the following:
Focus on only each other- No Social Media, that rule was mostly for me (HAHA)
Enjoy the conversation- We kept everything light and flirty
Do something we have never done before- We made sure to each choose something we have never done before together and knocked it out! It was actually a lot of fun! Now we have new memories!
Do the things you love to do together – No matter where we go, I always have to get a massage at the Spa! I am that pressed LOL! I was also pressed to ride bikes.
Romantic Dinner- We had a nice dinner at the Versace mansion.
And…
Sleep- Man we had the best sleep! No little people running into our beds in the middle of the night! It was amazing.
Here are some additional things you can do to reconnect with your spouse:
Express Gratitude
Show interest in each other’s hobbies and feelings (Fill up those love tanks)
Encourage one another
Communicate
Listen to one another
Sleep naked – Build intimacy
I am not going to lie y'all, we enjoyed each other so much that I was actually afraid to come home. I was afraid that once we got home and back to the hustle, the honeymoon phase would be over. Well, here we are and that feeling from our trip is still there!
How? At this stage in our marriage, we understand the WORK we must both put in order to accomplish our marriage goals. I feel that my spouse is more attentive, understanding, supportive, and putting in the effort which in turns allows me to try as well. Marriage is not easy! It takes time, dedication, consistency, and will! I am no marriage expert, just speaking from 13 years of experience.
Reconnect with each other, enjoy each other, and just love each other.